I have honestly not been one to feel a lot of "mommy guilt" when I do things for myself (which then leads me to feel guilty for not feeling guilty) but I sure got a strong dose of it this afternoon. I was playing dinos with Kaityln when she started making her baby triceratops cry. I asked her why she was crying and she said that her mommy and daddy weebles were up in the treehouse and she missed them. I told her to call them down to her and so she did and then her poor baby triceratops started crying harder. She told me that her mommy and daddy told her no and they were too far away to get her.
A year ago this scenario would be pretty innocent play, but right now I know that it is a direct effect of our current situation. Brian is gone in California and I know that she misses him a lot and although I have been here with them all summer, she has spent several weekends with each set of grandparents away from me. The time I have spent away from them has been CRUCIAL to my sanity, however seeing its effects on my poor Little Nunnies breaks my heart. So now I have to decide if the space and time I need to decompress is worth Kait feeling like Mommy and Daddy are "too far away". Being a parent is full of difficult decisions.
When she is older and remembers, what she will remember is your constant love, encouragement and that you were an awesome mom. Trust me, she won't remember this brief separation or your short breaks. Trust yourself and trust the Lord to guide you all.
ReplyDeleteSo enjoyed seeing you and your little ones! Best wishes as you begin your new adventures!
Mama Ray
Thank you for the words of encouragement. It is hard to remember sometimes that their memories are not quite as sharp as ours are, so you're right. She probably won't remember this time :) I loved seeing you and YOUR wonderful daughter and grandbaby!
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